How to Make Beans and Rice plus Platanos.

Yesterday dinner my mum, sister, and I made a delicious meal…or as my dad likes to say “a malicious deal.” (Which, by the way Dad, has a very different meaning…)   Anyways, we made beans and rice and platanos. I took pictures because I could because mum’s camera happened to be in the kitchen.

Here is my mum’s recipe for Honduran beans and rice as she wrote it on Facebook. She grew up there so she knows stuff. It’s really really good.

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Honduran Rice 

  • One small onion chopped
  • 2 cloves of garlic crushed
  • 2 tablespoons oil

Saute on medium heat in sauce pan for a couple of minutes stirring occasionally. Then add:

  • two cups raw rice

Saute for several minutes longer on high heat stirring constantly. Then add:

  • 4 scant cups water ( I add a little less than the bag says to because there is liquid in the tomatoes)
  • 1-2 tomatoes diced (I add a can of diced tomatoes with the liquid and then I reduce the amount of water by about a half of a cup)
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • juice of one lemon

Bring to a boil. Reduce heat cover and simmer about 20-30 minutes.

Honduran Beans 

  • 4 cans of black beans. (drain some of the liquid off the top of each can)
  • 1 can of dice tomatoes or 2 medium tomatoes diced

Add these to a large pan and begin heating up on medium heat. Meanwhile…saute in small skillet:

  • 1 onion chopped
  • 1 clove garlic crushed

Add these to the beans and tomatoes then add the following spices:

  • 1 teaspoon cumin
  • 1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
  • (optional) cilantro leaves …I chop them with scissors and add about three forths of the bunch
  • The canned beans are salted already so I don’t add salt.
  • Sometimes I add the juice of a lemon

Bring all this to a boil reduce heat and simmer until the rice is done.

Hondurans alway serve their beans and rice with a hot sauce or hot pico-de-gallo and lots of corn tortillas.

When I make beans and rice I chop all of the onion and crush all of the garlic for both recipes and saute them all together in a pan. Then I set some aside for the beans and get my rice simmering before finishing the beans.

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Okay so that is how to make Honduran beans and rice. Now for the extra awesome stuff. Here is how to make platanos. Platanos are kind of like bananas except you can’t eat them raw cause they’re gross. However, when you fry and salt them, they become the greatest food known to man.

Step #1. Go to the grocery store and buy one platano per person.

Step #2. Drive home.

Step #3. Peal the platano, cut it in half and then cut each half into thirds.

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Step #4. Fry the platanos in oil.  At first they will stick a little. Don’t try to pry them up; let them cook for a little bit until they come free easily and are brownish on the bottom. Then turn them over and let the other side cook until slightly brown.

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Step #5. Place the platanos on a platter with paper towels in between the layers. Salt to taste.

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Step #6. Enjoy.

You are welcome.

How to Make Strawberry Shortcake

Last night I made strawberry shortcake.

Mum put it in the pretty wine glasses to make it look fancier.

It tasted as delicious as it looks if I do say so myself.

Feast your eyes and get the recipe below:

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Here is the recipe. You are welcome.

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Strawberries:

2 cartons of Strawberries

Powdered sugar

Rinse and cut the tops off of the strawberries

Cut strawberries into fourths or fifths

Sprinkle with powdered sugar and mix

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Shortcake Biscuits: 

1/4 stick of butter

2 cups of white flour

2 tsp of baking powder

1/2 cup of sugar

1 tsp of salt

1 cup of milk

Heat oven to 450 degrees Fahrenheit.

Slightly soften butter in microwave for 5-10 seconds

Cut butter into the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt.

Stir in milk until dough is light and fluffy like clouds

Spoon into an ungreased 8×8 cake pan

Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown.

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Strawberry Shortcake: 

Cut the biscuits into serving sized squares

Serve the squares into bowls (or wine glasses)

Cover in strawberries

Add a spoonful of whipped cream

Take a picture and upload to instagram.

Dig in, and enjoy!

How to be Socially Awkward.

 How to be Socially Awkward in five easy steps with examples, pictures, and gifs.

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1. Look painfully self-conscious and/or dress like you don’t care.

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a) Posture

You do not know what to do with your hands. Ever. Stand and sit rigidly and when you move, do so in a way that screams, “NOBODY LOOK AT ME!!” but that also makes everyone look at you.

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b) Appearance

Wear nerdy cloths. Preferably a Doctor Who tee-shirt, faded jeans that are baggy and several inches too short.  Steel-rimmed glasses and white sneakers are a must. Braces are a bonus. Wear your hair in a pony tail or two stiff braids. Or better yet, let the bushy frizz win and do nothing with your hair. Or wear whatever the heck you want. As long as it looks hideous and doesn’t match or follow social norms, you’re good to go.

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2. Be really random and have lots of “accidents” which you hope no one saw. 

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a) do stupid things

Such as talk to yourself or inanimate objects when no one is around.

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Join random social-suicide clubs

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Break dance

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c) Be spastic and clumsy

Walk in to glass doors

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Fall when everyone is watching.

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Then make a distasteful joke about it.

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c) Be super random and non-conventional

Say random things

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Do random things.

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 3. Make conversation as painful as possible

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a) panic and blank when the pressure is on, and thus say the first thing that comes to mind

Develop a stutter or pronounce particular words in non-conventional ways.

Ask awkwardly personal questions or provide TMI during random silences.

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b) you simply have no idea as to what constitutes a socially acceptable thing to say. 

Implement unnecessarily archaic vocabulary.

 Be very, painfully frank and honest about everything.

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Be completely culturally inept.

Say things which are extremely politically incorrect

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4. Make people feel as uncomfortable as is physically possible when you are nearby.

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 Pull out your cell phone when someone starts talking to you.

Generally ignore people to avoid talking.

Make outrageous demands and hold your ground.

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Accidentally catch someone’s eye, then stare at them for five minutes, blinking occasionally.

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Cry or get unreasonably defensive when someone asks you a question.

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Invade personal space

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Poke people

Try to be cool but fail miserably

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 5. Create a mental state which fluctuates between…

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a) having a mental panic attack

 Everyone is staring at me O.o

 Someone asks question *instantly forgets all words*

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 b) to wallowing in self-pity

Everyone hates me.

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c) to not giving a damn.

I hate everyone.

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I never want to see another human being again.

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I will never go outside again.

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d) And finally you come to a resigned acceptance of your impediment.

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Congratulations! You now know how to be socially awkward.

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Now your life is over.

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Sorry not sorry for the language and sarcasm.

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have a good day!