A Comprehensive List of Things to Do When Bored
Fork your best friend’s yard.
In a room full of people, turn on a fan and yell, “Exterminate!” into it.
Walk up to random people and ask them, “What colour is the White House?” Count how many people don’t know the answer. Laugh at those people.
Set up shop on the side of a busy street and offer to read tea leaves for people. When someone stops, look into the cup and tell the dude that that the tea says, “IT is going to happen. The Thing you’ve been dreading is approaching. It is nearly upon you. The only way to evade it is to pay this wise sage $50.” See how many people fall for it. (Disclaimer – give their money back. I do not endorse stealing from people. I do, however, endorse laughing at people’s stupidity. So feel free to laugh obnoxiously in their face as you hand their money back.)
Learn how to type…with your toes…at Starbucks.
Change your name every day.
Put on a white lab coat and rush into a family-run business. Ask what year it is. When they tell you, yell, “Dang it! Missed by three years!” And then dash out. ~ Three years later, walk into the same store wearing the same thing and ask, “What year is it now?” When they answer do a celebratory dance and yell, “It works! It finally works!”
Go to a restaurant and order diet water. When the waitress insists that there is no such thing, argue for a while and finally settle for a diet Pepsi instead.
Call a random number and say, “Hello this is Domino’s Pizza, can I take your order please?” Don’t let them hang up until they order pizza.
Hijack an elevator and do THIS: The Intelevator by Ylvis
Call a friend and tell them you can’t talk right now because you’re really busy.
Get an empty mayo jar and fill it with vanilla pudding. Eat it in public and offer spoonfuls to people who stare at you.
Go to the grocery store and ask the manager, “What colour are your green peppers,” “How much does your (fill in money amount) butter cost?” or “Do I have to bye the entire one-dozen carton of eggs if I only want twelve of them?”
Hide in cupboards. Tell people you’re trying to find Narnia.
Take pictures of random people doing embarrassing or unconventional things in public (such as picking their nose, brushing their teeth, or stealthily scratching in unspeakable areas) and then several minutes later go up to them and say in your best professional under-cover-cop-impression voice, “Good afternoon, sir. I am looking for someone. Have you seen this man?” and show them the picture you took of them.
In a crowd of people, carry around a plastic cup full of water. Start crying and search the ground frantically saying, “I lost my fish! Where’s my fish?!” Ask everybody around you to stop walking because you’re afraid they’ll step on your fish.
Walk up to random people and say, “Hey! You’ve grown up so much! I remember the day you were born…” Works especially well if the random stranger is older than you.